RANDOM THOUGHTS
I really have to learn to use my cell phone for recording stuff. Stuff, like ideas. I think of the most marvelous things to blog about...when I'm driving, when I'm sitting in church, when I'm up singing. Whenever I'm in a situation that I can't write down my ideas. And now.....when I'm settled in nicely ready to write....my brain freezes. Completely. I could blame it on chemofog...but it's been almost 3 years since I finished chemo. The brain does heal itself. So I'm thinking I have to admit that part of it, at least, is simply due to age. There I said it!
Like this morning, I'm looking in the mirror and trying to fix whatever it was that happened with the primer for the eye makeup that I was applying. Little globs of "stuff" appear. Not very attractive "stuff." While cleaning it all off to start over again, I noticed that woman in the mirror. "Who is that old woman looking at me?" Or maybe I should be politically correct and clean up my thoughts to myself about myself. (Do I need to do that?) Probably not, but as a teacher, it's habit.
So, the "elderly lady" in the mirror. What happened? What happened to the face that used to greet me every morning? The face went from Bible School, through a couple of assistant pastoral stints, then to a missions assignment. And a couple of baby boys born. Life in the jungle for a few years. Life in a mile-high city in South America for another year. Steamy jungle; dry mountain air. Then back to the mid-west for a few decades. A few decades of assisting, pastoring, studying, (a bachelor's degree, a master's degree, a Psy.D, a teaching certificate, a couple of endorsements, etc.) a liver donation, breast cancer and chemotherapy. A few side jobs squeezed in there somewhere: immigration counseling, administrative assistant, counselor, emergency room consultant. Always the pastoral work, public school teaching, parenting and grandparenting. I suppose the wrinkles are well-earned. Every dry spot, every scar, every droop and jiggle of skin. All well-earned. All contribute to the look of that stranger in the mirror.
Interestingly, inside I feel much the same. Still have hopes and dreams, things I'd like to accomplish. However, with the miles comes some wisdom, with wisdom, a measure of peace. So....as the cup a friend gave me for Christmas says:
"ALL I REALLY WANT ... IS PEACE ON EARTH AND A CUTE PAIR OF SHOES!!!
Blessings!!
or three...!!! (Models: Hubby & Granddaughters, 12-31-08
5 comments:
You mean you did all that praying and you still are aging? Did Jesus forget about you? Maybe it's because he died at 33 and he is just playing some cruel joke on the rest of us. Hang tight... we're all on the same path as you and you look FABU!
LOL!!! He died at 33 so he doesn't get aging? LOL!!! You are a stitch!! And...THANKS!
It sounds like you need a session in that women's "beach" devotional I showed you.........and have you forgotten what I said on Mother's Day when I passed out the books......those wrinkles, those scars, those bulges and dropping places are the trophies of all the places and things you have accomplished in life....you wouldn't be the awesome, wonderful, you that you are today without them. Beauty is not an outside appearance its an inside endurance and in that my dear friend you are a beauty queen!!!! Love ya!
I know...but there's that mirror!!
Hi beautiful! haven't been by in awhile. I am beginning to have similar thoughts...Kind of depressing. I didn't know you were a Dr.! :)
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