Friday, February 22, 2013
I've been teaching for so long that it is difficult to think of myself in other terms. teaching has become my identity. Yet, I realize that the classroom is not the only place that I inhabit. A teacher does not define nor comprise all that I am. Still, that six hour chunk of my day is consuming. It's consuming in terms of thoughts and ideas in my quiet time; it definitely inhabits most of my "purpose in life" thoughts and energies. In a sense, it's right that it should; right that I spend so much of my time and energy on planning, purchasing supplies and paraphernalia, fulfilling plans and executing activities, lessons and exercises for the classroom. Those little lives that are entrusted to my keeping are important. My actions, words and ideas may change lives. Now that's a monumental thought!
However, just lately, I've been able to think of the near future when headed to a classroom everyday will be a thing of the past. And I've been almost anticipating the relief that perhaps my tasks will not be so numerous, so time-consuming, so exhausting. Almost.
The uncertainty of what's to come is also part of my ennui in thinking about the future. Most of the time I'm excited to be heading into the unknown, into a great new adventure. And that is how I must think of this -- a great new adventure. It will be an adventure to find myself sans classroom and perhaps cast into some new profession or project. If I could just know what that adventure will be, I might be able to dredge up more enthusiasm.
For now, I'll be satisfied with looking forward to discovering that enthusiasm!!
Saturday, February 09, 2013
Here I am sitting in my kitchen contemplating what shall be the course of my life when I am forced (more or less) into retirement in June, to the tune of hubby singing "True Love" while he builds up the fire in the fireplace on this cold February afternoon. I've found several things I could "do" after retirement, none of them particularly practical. I could win the HGTV Dream house and move to Kiawah Island, South Carolina and write my memoirs sitting on that lovely porch/deck overlooking the ocean. I could, for only $49, purchase The Barefoot Writer's Club which will guarantee me a six figure income for life, or at least as long as my fingers can work the keyboard and my brain will shovel out drivel. I could increase my lottery ticket purchase from 0 to 1 per week and win the next mega-million payout. Or not.
In all probability, in two year's time I shall be sitting in my kitchen, listening to hubby do some task while singing and still be contemplating what shall be the course of my life now that I am retired. Or not.
This sounds cheerless. I am, in fact, not unhappy, just having a moment. If I have learned anything, it is that the more things change, the more they remain the same.