SPRING BREAK

I spent a marvelous two days with my granddaughters, cooking, exploring the Museum of Science and Industry, and playing a newly invented game of Hide and Go Seek, which included a version of tag, and sword fighting. Don't ask. These princesses love swords!

Now it's time to prepare for a series of lessons that I have committed to deliver. I've been feeling sadly out of touch. Out of touch with myself mostly, wondering whether God can really bring change in me, wondering if I'm living on the same planet as the people that I rub shoulders with. Wondering what on earth I can say that will make a difference in the lives of those listeners to whom I am charged to deliver an encouraging word.

All the while, in the back of my mind, a little voice is asking whether I can make it for the next few years in the classroom again. Will I be able to motivate and inspire the way I really want? Will I be able to reconcile those ideas floating around in my mind with the cold, harsh "learning standards" on the written page? Will I be able to make my classroom a creative oasis, even for those reluctant or rebellious learners that walk our halls? Can I live out in the classroom, the ideals that I've be able to communicate in the Interventionist's office? And...can I do all these things while keeping up with those huge monsters, "Grading Papers" and "Recording Grades?"

Will my episodes of "Chemobrain" impede my attempts at the massive organizational process it requires to simply run a classroom? Those days when I cannot sustain a thought long enough to accomplish a complicated task, will I be able to "fake it" well enough to "Make it"?

And then I just read the most marvelous blog: Enjoying the Small Things.

Let me rephrase that: I just cried my way through the most marvelous blog. Then fast forwarded through her blog to the present: Enjoying the Small Things to look at more pictures and thoughts. And I realized just how God takes our battles, struggles and trials and allows us to speak to others, even though their circumstances may be vastly different. Kellie's story spoke to me though I'm old enough to be her mother. It spoke to me even though my childbearing years (her circumstances) are far behind me. It spoke to me even though my past experiences of childbirth were far different from hers. And may I say, I LOVE the community, the sharing, the family and friends who were there. In my generation childbirth was a lonely, lonely experience. Beautiful, but lonely.

Still....her experience spoke to me. In the way that our dreams may be fulfilled in ways we never imagined. In that gifts we receive from God may not be what we were looking for. In her amazing attitude of thankfulness and acceptance of the gift she received. Her obvious love of that precious little girl spoke in the pictures, the tone of her writing, the interactions that can be seen on camera.

So, I understand that even if the audience has a widely varied experience, our humanness speaks in the way that we handle life's circumstance. Faith and love speak across generations, across culture, across background experience. God speaks through us.

Thank you, Lord for finding us. In moments of turmoil, in moments of doubt, in moments of fear. Thank you for turning that to Peace, Faith, and Love.