Sunday, December 11, 2005
More bits and pieces... One by one the tests are finished with positive results. I'm ready, physically, emotionally, spiritually for this journey. The doctors say there is still the liver biopsy and the stress test to verify my health. I'm strangely relaxed about the entire thing. I'm ready to donate 2/3 of my liver to a friend. It seems weird to some people--I've gotten unbelievably contradictory feedback, but this isn't about feedback. It's about doing what I'm positive is destined as my next step.
In the devotional today from Os Hillman, he speaks of Paul's personal mission statement: To know Christ, to know and experience his power, to identify with him in his suffering. (Phil 3:10-11) This step is more about knowing Christ and experiencing God's power. Even though I am warned on all sides about possible complications, I'm fully prepared to see God's power take me through this with flying colors. I'm not foolish enough to believe that it will be without pain, but I have faith enough to believe that it will not be anything that I can't handle.
I really want things to move forward quickly, as soon as possible. It was gratifying to see Victor looking so much better this morning. I've know Victor long enough to know that it's the power of hope, the power of faith, that is improving his medical condition. His zest for life has returned and he's ready for the new liver, or half liver as the case may be and a return to life in the mainstream instead of on the sidelines. A return to playing with his five year old son; a return to productive service.
In the long run, the blessing will be mine. Of that, I have no doubt. In God's economy the giver is blessed one hundredfold. I enter this surgery understanding from a human standpoint the risks and possibilities for complications; I also understand from a spiritual standpoint that there's no way I can lose. Even if in the giving my life is spent, I'm still the winner. In giving there is blessing. What greater heritage could I give my children or grandchildren than that the act of giving is its own greatest reward?