Ancient History
The Iguana Factor
Or
The Amazing Levitating Powers of "Uncle Bob"

This iguana is five-feet,
(and the man is just an innocent bystander -- unrelated to the characters in the story!)
the iguana in the following story was only about 3 and half feet!

The story told through a series of e-mails (with minimal editing for clarification).

Randy to Kenny:

. . . Good thing I keep reptiles or nobody would remember me! Speaking of reptiles, don't ever get uncle Bobby going about a small encounter he had at our house in Long Beach with one of my little iguanas. I think it was a significant emotional event that might have sent him into the clergy.

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Kenny to Bob:

Uncle Bob, Is there something I need to know here about a reptilian encounter????

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Bob to Kenny:

What Randy is talking about is the “iguana” factor. Phylis and I had only been married about 4-5 months and were living in Menlo Park, California. We decided to take a weekend to visit our family in Long Beach. At that time, Randy had two iguana pets. I have never liked iguanas and was a bit leery of them. At feeding time, Randy pulled the iguanas out of their cage and set them on the floor. I asked Randy if they were aggressive—he said: “No way!” They refused to eat, all the while staring at me. I was standing by the door of his bedroom. I thought it would calm them down if I sat on the corner of the bed. The one kept “eyeing” me. Suddenly, the one that had been eyeing me, arched it’s back and hissed (like a cat) and lunged at me with its claws fully stretched! I responded in that same instant, by whispering a Grandma Adela saying: “la sangre de Cristo”---and miraculously jumped off the bed and landed on my tush on the floor. The iguana landed on the bed but found that I was gone---he was surprised; I was surprised as well that he didn’t get me.

In the process of clerginess, I was well on my way there—it just taught me that more things than not do tend to attack!

There you have it!

P.S. (I still don’t trust iguanas!)

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Randy to Kenny:

Clearly he has a better grasp of the details that led up to his exit from my bedroom. All I remember is someone looking more like Spiderman than my uncle. I was extremely impressed with his evasive maneuvering!

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Phylis adds her two cents:

Kenny, Don’t let Randy fool you. That wasn’t a “small encounter”! I was standing in the door of the room watching with my mouth open!! That iguana had SOME claws. When Randy picked it up off the bed, the thing had its claws in the bed (All the way through to the mattress) and he had to set it down and extricate it claw by claw from the bed in order to leave the mattress still on the bed.

Things learned: I already knew I didn’t want to be in the room with a 3-foot iguana. I learned that Bob can move much faster than I ever realized. He leaped(?) from a sitting position and landed on the floor in a split-second. It was really quite amazing. - PJDH

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Kenny to all and Sundry:

The more details I get on this, the funner it gets!

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Phylis final remarks:

You’re right, Kenny. This one is a story worthy of re-telling—and one I had totally forgotten. Add in Randy’s “Spiderman” comment and it reaches epic proportions!! I can hardly wait to hear you tell this one at the reunion!!!

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I had forgotten this little episode until I was reminded by Bob's nephew. I thought it might brighten your day to read about "Uncle Bob" and his amazing levitating powers.

PJDH