Sunday Snippets
Pearls of Wisdom from Kindergarten

Pearl #1

6-Year old: Grandma, did you know that in the old days, they didn't have toothpaste or toothbrushes?

8-yr old: They just washed their teeth.

6-Year old: And their teeth got rotten and fell out. And did you know that there were native Americans here? Lots of them?

8-yr old: They didn't have electricity or anything.

6-yr old: Yeah. In the old days life was very hard. And on my hero chart in my classroom there's a guy who made it.

Me: You mean Benjamin Franklin who discovered about electricity?

6-yr old: That's his name. You know him Grandma?

8-yr old: He's dead.

Me: I know about him and what he did.

6-yr old: Grandma where was my Daddy born?

Me: Right here in this city.

6-yr old: Was that in the old days? Were there lots of Native Americans?

Me: (Choking on laughter, dying to tell my 36-year old baby boy that his baby thinks he lived before electricity.) No. We had electricity then. (I should have said, ask your Daddy!!!)

Pearl #2

6-yr old: Grandma did you know that eating lots of candy is not good for you?

8-yr old: Candy is very unhealthy. It has sugar, the unhealthy kind of sugar. Fruit has the healthy kind of sugar. It's okay to eat fruit with healthy suger.

6-yr old: Yeah, if you eat candy every day, it will make you the F-word.

me: Really? How's that.

6-yr old: Well, if you eat lots and lots of candy and you eat it every day, it will make you the F-word.

8-yr old: You don't have to say F-word. You're not calling people that. It's okay to say the word.

Me: (Silent, in fear and trepidation)

6-yr old: (With intonation one might use when saying "Duh") Well, we are too talking about people. It's people who eat candy. You can't call people FAT it might hurt their feelings, so I just say "F-word."

Me: (Still silent!! Too astonished to speak.)

Pearl #3

8-yr old: Grandma, Papa's walking really slow.

Me: (without thinking) That's what happens when you get old.

8-yr old: Papa's not old. He's just, just, in the middle.

6-yr old: Yeah. He's just middle. It's not like he's 100 or 1,000 or anything.

8-yr old: Well he couldn't be 1,000. Nobody ever got that old, not even in the Bible.

Me: Right. You're right. Even Methuselah only lived 969 years. So I shouldn't say Papa's old?

6-yr old: No Grandma, Papa's not old. He's just middle.

Me: Okay, so Papa is just middle-aged.

6-yr old: Middle age. He's not even 100.


To Sum up:
1. The old days were hard: no toothpaste or toothbrushes, teeth fell out, there was no electricity and lots of native Americans.
2. Her daddy (age 35) might have been born before electricity.
3. One must not use the word "Fat" when referring to people
4. And as long as Papa (Grandpa -- my better half) is not 100, he's still middle-aged.

That's all for today, folks. From the Kindergarten Room.

Addendum: The following day:

6-yr old: Grandma, was Uncle Rob born in the old days before electricity? (He's 19-months older than her dad)

me: No. There was electricity even when Uncle Rob was born. (Her expression was a bit dubious)