Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass- it is about learning to dance in the rain.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Thoughts on a blue day

I made a silly mistake today at work. I forgot an important appointment. The domino effect cost several people a lot of time and trouble. There are days like that, I guess. But it makes me blue none the less. And meeting a friend for dinner tonight was canceled...just one of those days.

More Blue Thoughts
And some feedback would be appreciated

There's lots of info and ideas out there about DNA and how it affects our choices. Let's just suppose for argument sake that I know alcoholism runs in my family, both sides of the family for several generations. (Which isn't true -- any family members reading this....it's an analogy...read on!!) I can be fairly certain that my DNA contains a weakness for alcoholism. Let's say that I've live my life to a certain point and never really had a problem with compulsive drinking. But one day I realize that I'm thinking about drinking. Who knows...I may have been thinking about drinking my entire life. In fact, now that I think about it, I'm sure that I have been wanting to drink ever since I can remember.

So, I decide to try out my theory. I hang out with people who drink. I limit contact with people who don't drink, be they family, friends or church associates. I go to the bars with friends from work. Sure enough. I was right. I am feeling more and more like an alcoholic every day! I am an alcoholic. So I'm going to dedicate my life to drinking. I must drink. It's part of who I am! So I drink and drink and prove to everyone that I am, indeed, an alcoholic. Yep! I knew it! I am an alcoholic.

Now if you read that, you know that it is a complete crock. DNA may provide the weakness. Experience, like being exposed to drinking at an early age, may sharpen the tendency. But when it comes right down to it, drink by drink, I choose to drink. Having the weakness or tendency doesn't make me an alcoholic. Indulging in excessive alcohol does.

But if we change the name of the inclination for another, such as I think I may be l**b**n or **y, we hear those rationalizations on a regular basis. When will we learn? The self-indulgence in an area of weakness makes me an alcoholic (or you fill in the blank). Having a genetic weakness, or early negative experience does not an alcoholic make. To be an alcoholic I still must choose to drink. It's about the action and the choices, not the DNA or the feelings.

Okay. I'm off my soapbox!!! I'm going to read a good uplifting book...Psalms??...and feel all better very soon!!!





6 comments:

Linda said...

First of all, let me just say that I am so sorry you had a blue day, because you are such a sweet person that it makes me sad to think of you being sad. And that picture just illustrates a blue day so perfectly. It's not like it's the end of the world when we goof up, but still, it's hard. I know. I work outside the home, and when I do something like that, it's hard to get past even when others give me grace. I pray that God will be the glory and the lifter of your head. Let your heart be glad in him. Also--about proclivities, I use this same sort of argument for the same point. For instance, my husband is a red-blooded male. He is naturally attracted to females. All kinds, I'm sure. BUT he is not allowed to act on his desires. Society would not allow it, nor would I. He must curtail it, even though he was born with a strong, strong desire not to be monogamous 100% of the time. It's the nature of the beast; it's the nature of man; it's no excuse to sin.

truth said...

Sorry for your blue day. I struggle with feelings of inadequacy when something like that happens and yet I know I should not.

I like you analogy. I too tend to look at things through those eyes. I listen to the reasoning and excuses people make and inside, I think of why what they are saying is so illogical. And with the right comparison, it sounds so silly.

Anonymous said...

FIRST, LET E SAY THAT YOU KNOW WE ALL LOVE YOU. YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL AND UNIQUE PERSON AND ONE MESS-UP AT WORK DOES NOT CHANGE THAT. IF IT DID I WOULD BE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE! SECOND, I THINK YOU ARE EXPERIENCING TEH AFTERMATH OF THE AWESOME WORK GOD HAS BEEN DOING IN YOU AND OUR CHURCH. WHAT BETTER WAY FOR THE WORK OF GOD TO BE STYMIED THAN FOR TEH DEVIL TO FIZZLE OUT THE STEAM OF ONE OF THE LEADERS. CHIN UP, HEAD HIGH, KEEP THE FAITH.............PRAISE SINGER PRACTICE WILL LIFT YOUR SPIRITS. IT ALWAYS DOES FOR ME.

ann said...

Wow, I love what Linda, Joanne and your other friend said. I completely second their comments. I'm really sorry you had a rough day, PJ. You're so wonderful, and I hope you get to feeling better soon. (((HUGS)))

PJ said...

Thank you...all of you... I so appreciate the affirmation...it really was a D.U.M.B. mistake -- I'll tell it one of these days. My sister actually laughed. She says I will one of these days...but right now it's not funny. Deb, you're right. I'll feel better after music tonight. Maybe I'll even video a song and post it!!

the teach said...

PJ, addictions often creep up on a person without the person knowing it. Over time the addiction grows and soon enough the person IS an alcoholic, or a heron addict or a smoker. And yes the person might have a "inclination" in his/her DNA. Calling an addiction a disease really doesn't mean anything as long as you realize that there is no choice once the addiction has developed. If you've never been addicted you might find it hard to understand what an addiction is and how a person can't choose to stop. He or she need help to stop, whether medication or therapy. I quit smoking 3 and a half years ago and I'm still quit. I used tobacco replacement products and therapy (a support group) to get me to where I am today. Some people use anti-depressants to help stop smoking. But all these things help.

BTW thanks for participating in my "What if" meme. I really appreciate it. I've posted the results now so take a look. :D

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